Doctor appointments come with stark reminders.

If you’re new here, it isn’t all vacation and roses.

Yes, we’re trying to figure out a path forward without Adam, but it isn’t easy no matter how much time has passed.

Nothing like a pediatric cardiologist appointment to remind me just how harsh a reality we’ve faced.

When your strong, healthy husband dies out of the blue from undiagnosed heart disease and a heart attack at age 40, it stops you in your tracks.

22 months later it feels like we’re barely taking steps forward from that life-altering event.

It means numerous appointments for my children thanks to hereditary heart disease.

It means EKGs and heart monitors.

There’s the worry and fear that comes with the thought of something happening to one of our children. I don’t know how I’d make it. I couldn’t take it.

No matter my fears, I have to calm theirs. Remind them this is precautionary. 

More information is good. It will help the doctors as you grow. Give them a sense of where things have been and see where they are going.

Additional appointments aren’t bad. Additional testing isn’t bad.

I remind them. I remind me. 

God is in control.

I’ve learned that very clearly since May 18, 2021.

My children are beautiful gifts that make my life more meaningful. They have given me purpose on my worst days and kept me going when I didn’t know what any of it was for anymore.

It's for them. I keep on for them. They need a parent. They deserve a parent.

I’m here for them as long as God allows.