Is it possible to be content even in the worst circumstances of life?

In my early days of grief, I spent a lot of time outside walking, running, and biking to praise and worship music. 

As a new widow, with the shock still so fresh, one lyric jumped out at me.

In the song “Jireh” by Elevation Worship it says:

“I will be content in every circumstance.”

Basically, because Jesus is enough, all one really needs.  

I thought long and hard about that sentence. Could I be content in every circumstance? Even this? Even now?

My days were gray and my future uncertain, but the answer was clear to me. I knew in my heart, though it was hollow and broken, that I could be content. Not happy. Not confident. Not sure of anything. Just content.

I have children to raise and get out of bed for. Whatever my purpose is in this life, it didn't die alongside my husband that day in May. I am still here.

God has been gently asking me to sit and wait and be content in the unknown.

I am reminded that all the hopes and dreams we once had were by God’s grace anyways. Now that our future together is gone, God will continue to walk with me as he always has. Closing and opening doors when I don’t know which way to go.

I can be content, even in the unknown. Even now.