Live Every Day.

It has been hard to find joy in anything since Adam died. These last many months have been something I’ve had to walk through. There is no shortcut. No way around the days and hours and minutes that I now live on without Adam.

I was given this sign by a dear friend - “Live every day until you are alive again.”

Even with beautiful children to care for and keep me busy, it was nearly impossible to find a moment of happiness, of light, of true enjoyment of anything in that first year. A layer of sadness clung to each moment and covered over the fun one might normally find.

It is a mindset to get up and live each day when there is little joy you find in them.

I have friends who have walked the road of grief for longer than I have. Their stories would pierce your heart and make your eyes sting with tears for the unfairness of life and the searing pain of loss.

I asked one how long it was before she felt joy again. Even her smile seemed weary when she said if she could figure out what would spark joy for me again, she would fill my house with it. So far nothing has been that spark, but I am content when I write. When I post something new and share a little bit of my world, I feel like I have done something today that brings a little light.

I started an online writing course that challenges me to write and publish a short essay of 300 words or less every day for 30 days on Twitter. It has been interesting so far and Twitter is all new to me.

Here is my most recent essay.  

Follow @WidowWhiskey on Twitter to watch the essays stack up over the next few weeks.