In my early days of grief, I spent a lot of time outside walking, running, and biking to praise and worship music. As a new widow, with the shock still so fresh, one lyric jumped out at me. In the song “Jireh” by Elevation Worship it says: “I will be content in every
Read MoreWe made it back home just in time for another blizzard, but what a time we had! Sun, beaches, Pearl Harbor - so many memories made. I learned the meaning of "Mahalo." An expression of gratitude in Hawaii. To say we’re grateful for this experience is an understatement.
Read More2020 turned out to be Adam’s last full year of life. We traveled more than usual that year and had Hawaii on our radar. We would be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary that year and we’d both turn 40. It seemed like the perfect time. Enter COVID and our Hawaii dreams came to an end. No sense flying all that way when so many things were...
Read MoreI've known ever since Adam died that the kindness and generosity showered on our family was something extraordinary that we could never repay. Hundreds of kind souls - from family and friends, law enforcement professionals and military veterans, to hockey families, neighbors, childhood friends and absolute strangers showed up for us - attended...
Read MoreExactly when you think of it. Having been a widow for over a year and a half now, I know what most often stops people from doing something kind after a tragedy. People worry way too much about timing. All of these thoughts are garbage. The right time to reach out to someone dealing with loss is exactly when it crosses
Read MoreWhat a gift perspective is. Often it means many years of experience have come and gone and left an earned understanding of what matters in life. To gain perspective early, it might mean something awful happened. So it is with me. My husband died unexpectedly at age 40, on a random Tuesday in May, in the prime of his life. He was in the right...
Read MoreHave a friend that just lets you show up? Fly across country and don’t plan a thing. She just says, "Come." I have such a friend. So, I hopped a plane to Portland, Oregon last August. My first solo trip as a widow. Julie is the kindest soul. We met in Peru. Both Ambassadors for Noonday Collection, a fair-trade accessory company that allows you to...
Read MoreWhen asked what it’s like to suddenly lose your husband, I say it’s like having a white board for the entire span of your marriage. For us, 15 years. You throw ideas up on it periodically, like a vacation to Hawaii or planting a garden. Things you should do around the house, like paint the office or fix a sink. Even wild hairs to start a food...
Read MoreI used to love making resolutions, goals, lists of things to accomplish in a new year. As a grieving, single-parent I don’t need that kind of pressure. I don’t want a list that overwhelms and eventually falls by the wayside. This year I’m picking one thing.
Read MoreIn November, I wrote an essay for a writing class and surprised myself when I declared that I would be working from home for the foreseeable future. I did not have a job at the time, but I felt in my heart that this was a decision that needed to be made. Something I needed to say out loud. Another shift in my existence, but a good one, that will...
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